13 Howls: Forgiveness

[coyote_walking]

Samuel...

I really wish you were here. Not that I want you stuck here too, but I wish could tell you I understand what you did - why you did what you did.

And to let you know that I forgive you and that I hope I didn't hurt you too badly by running instead of staying to explain.

I hope that you forgive yourself as well.


Wow... don't know why that's so strong in my head right now. Probably a curse, but well, I do mean it. And I'd give anything to be able to tell him.

Comments

[justashow.livejournal.com]

And because it makes him happy. To be around you.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I guess.

Not sure how happy I've made him, though.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

Happy enough to keep going.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Don't know how I would have lived with myself if he... you know.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't have been your fault if he did.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

It would have felt like it was.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

Sometimes people make choices....

You just have to do the best you can for them and hope it's enough.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Speaking from experience?

[justashow.livejournal.com]

Perhaps.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

I'm trying - was trying - back home.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

I know, Mercy.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

I just... I want everyone to be happy and okay.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

Everyone in the whole world?

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

I know. It's stupid and naive, but...

At least all the people I care about.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

It's not stupid and naive.

We'll get there.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

I hope so. I'm praying for it.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

Could you save a spot in your prayers that I find a pair of pants that fit me fabulously before tomorrow?

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Okay, I have to know. What's so important about tomorrow and pants that I should put that in my prayers?

[justashow.livejournal.com]

I have a date.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

...

Oh?

[justashow.livejournal.com]

Jack wants to meet for lunch.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Kyle. Thank heavens.

Your pants go to the top of my prayer list.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

It's good, right? We can make a start.

I wish Ianto could come too.

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

I don't know the whole story, but if he's having trouble coming back because of what happened back there?

It might be a lot easier for him to start feeling safe with you before he can come here.

[justashow.livejournal.com]

I know. It's just...

Ianto needs him too. Probably more than I do right now, and I don't think I'm helping him very much.