Shal's done with me and Thomas, well... He needs space, time, whatever since I am apparently both too blindly trusting of him and too mean to his friends - despite the fact that I was defending him and myself.
And I don't know if I want to keep doing this if this is the way it's going to be. Is that wrong of me?
Anyway, I just needed a friend and I think you're the only one I have left.
Okay, firstly, are you okay? Are there like-- do you need first aid or something?
Secondly, Shal - seriously? And Thomas? Are you sure it wasn't like, a misunderstanding or something? Maybe you're just all stressed you know, and things get heated.
And I'm pretty sure I'll die in like two seconds, but if you need me to I'll totally put the whoop ass on them. A little of the old one-two?
Not that kind of fight. All just words. Nasty words. So no, no first aid needed.
I think Shal and I could probably be okay. When we both cool down I'll apologize for getting overheated. I'm pretty sure she won't, though. Whenever there's a problem it always ends up being solely my issue - which is part of the problem for me. I try and take responsibility for my part, they refuse to see that I could have had any point at all or that yeah, maybe when someone bad mouths the person I love and then suggests I'm dumb enough that I don't realize he's evil and just manipulating me that I'm going to be upset and take it personally.
Shal I get. Thomas... you'd think maybe he'd care a little about me as well as Shal. But you know... I don't need this. I don't deserve to be treated this way in a relationship.
I tell him I'm sorry, he's right, I should have stayed out of it and... then this.
Anyway, it ended with him saying he wanted a break from me. Again. And maybe I'm tired of this pattern.
No, hon, don't. It's not worth it. I just... I just needed a friend.
So it's one big impasse that everyone's kind of...unable to pass. [He's a great orator, ok.] Anyway. Taking a couple days to chill will probably make you feel better. Maybe we can take a stroll around the zoo or something, look at the funny animals and not taunt the dragons and stuff?
Well, I can do the friend thing. I'm really bad at fighting. But it sounds like everything's really complicated and messy, so. Like I said. I'm willing to help out if I can.
If nothing else, you can get everything off your chest. I'm good at tossing in catty comments here and there if need be. See, I'll demonstrate. "What? That bitch!" or "Please, girlfriend, you are so much better than that." Yeah? Pretty good, right?
Then it is decided! We will gawk at weird things and make snotty comments about other weird things with a prescription to fucking feel better in the morning.
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branchandroot
audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 03:48 am (UTC)Re: audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 03:54 am (UTC)Shal's done with me and Thomas, well... He needs space, time, whatever since I am apparently both too blindly trusting of him and too mean to his friends - despite the fact that I was defending him and myself.
And I don't know if I want to keep doing this if this is the way it's going to be. Is that wrong of me?
Anyway, I just needed a friend and I think you're the only one I have left.
Re: audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 04:40 am (UTC)Secondly, Shal - seriously? And Thomas? Are you sure it wasn't like, a misunderstanding or something? Maybe you're just all stressed you know, and things get heated.
And I'm pretty sure I'll die in like two seconds, but if you need me to I'll totally put the whoop ass on them. A little of the old one-two?
Re: audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 01:23 pm (UTC)I think Shal and I could probably be okay. When we both cool down I'll apologize for getting overheated. I'm pretty sure she won't, though. Whenever there's a problem it always ends up being solely my issue - which is part of the problem for me. I try and take responsibility for my part, they refuse to see that I could have had any point at all or that yeah, maybe when someone bad mouths the person I love and then suggests I'm dumb enough that I don't realize he's evil and just manipulating me that I'm going to be upset and take it personally.
Shal I get. Thomas... you'd think maybe he'd care a little about me as well as Shal. But you know... I don't need this. I don't deserve to be treated this way in a relationship.
I tell him I'm sorry, he's right, I should have stayed out of it and... then this.
Anyway, it ended with him saying he wanted a break from me. Again. And maybe I'm tired of this pattern.
No, hon, don't. It's not worth it. I just... I just needed a friend.
Re: audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 06:19 pm (UTC)Well, I can do the friend thing. I'm really bad at fighting. But it sounds like everything's really complicated and messy, so. Like I said. I'm willing to help out if I can.
If nothing else, you can get everything off your chest. I'm good at tossing in catty comments here and there if need be. See, I'll demonstrate. "What? That bitch!" or "Please, girlfriend, you are so much better than that." Yeah? Pretty good, right?
Re: audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 07:55 pm (UTC)And I just need a friend, not a fighter, just a friend and I think you'll do just fine. Bitchy comments would be most appreciated.
You're making me smile already.
Re: audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 08:13 pm (UTC)Good, smiling is good. It's my favorite.
Re: audio | private
Date: Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 08:25 pm (UTC)