28 Howls:

[coyote_walking]

If anyone's looking for me, I'm just going to be going away for a little bit. I'm fine, I just need, I just need to be away.



I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to work for you. Sorry.





He dumped me, Shal. After all this, he dumped me.

Comments

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

I tried not to care about him that much, but you already know I was losing that battle.

I can't - I can't think about that right now. It's just way too raw. If I try to look at what was good I'll break down and I'm trying so hard not to do that.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

Can't help who you fall in love with.

I'm sorry. I'm not helping much. I had a boyfriend back home, Zack. He screwed me. He came back years later and I let him into my life to have him screw me again. Then there was Richard...I opened every bit of me up to him and he died. I didn't think I'd ever want to trust or open up again. It just didn't work you know? But then there was Brennan and we got married.

Point is...eventually there will be a good one. I know, I'm probably not helping much. Not much will. But it's not your fault.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

I guess.

For me there was Samuel. I fooled around a little in college, but decided quickly that it wasn't worth it when I couldn't ever be me. Then there was Thomas. So, I blew it both times I tried. I think I'm better going back to keeping everyone at arms length.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

Do you really want to end up like me? Being suspicious of all people until you get close to them and then trying your hardest not to get close? It's a lot of work.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Not suspicious. Just Good Ole Mercy, just one of the guys.

I don't have to avoid everyone, just refuse to look at them as anything beyond a casual friend.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

I've tried that. You still end up getting attached.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

As long as it's just friends, that's okay.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

I understand. But you do know you can't control that right? Even I can't.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Did it for ten years very successfully.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

Okay...but I'm here if you need anything. I'm not sure this place would allow people to not get close.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Shal. I honestly don't knwo what I'd do without you right now. I owe you.

Damn... I hadn't thought of that. I'm just screwed, aren't I?

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

You don't owe me anything, when I have friends I do anything for them that I can.

Men suck, that's all there is to it. Anytime they're involved they screw everything up.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Well, you know if there's ever anything you need.

Yeah. And still we don't smarten up.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

I'm good actually...really good. But thanks.

We're just not smart in that department.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Clearly we're not.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

I like to think it's more that all men are idiots and make our lives more difficult. I feel horrible saying that.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Hey, not like I'll be spreading it around, say what you want here.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

Oh I just feel bad because I don't mean Brennan. But probably every other guy I know...they have some sort of talent for screwing things up.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

This Brennan must be something special.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

He is. Almost a year with someone is a record for me.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Then I'm glad he's here for you.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm sorry...I shouldn't be talking about the man I'm in love with while you're hurting. I told you I was bad at this. If you want anything to drink or eat please help yourself.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

In love with...? Brennan?

No, no, it's okay, I'm - well, I'm not fine, but I'll be okay. Maybe if you have stuff in the house I'll make brownies or something. Not that I'll be able to eat them, but cooking them soothes me.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[alittlewild.livejournal.com]

Usually you're in love with your husband right?

Eventually things heal...they suck though. Badly. I'm sorry this happened...I could talk to him...? I think I may. I have no idea what I have really, other than I know I have flour and chocolate and milk.

Re: [Private/Unhackable]

[coyote-walking.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn, she's cursed...

Right. Of course.

Yeah, takes forever, though.

I'll see what I can find.